Marques “Grand Marques” Slocum
At first I thought this was a joke… mocking the intelligence of professional football players, then horrifically I realized it was real.
Apparently they weren’t kidding when they say elite pro football prospects get a… “easy” ride in college. I’m not sure whether to laugh or find this terrifying… a college educated top young NFL prospect evidently feels this an excellent introduction of his character for public consumption.
Behold Michigan’s Marques “Grand Marques” Slocum: (No, I haven’t the faintest idea who that is… just that he’s apparently some great young talent everyone’s drooling over)
(Begin edited interview. Questions in italics, answers in bold.)
What is your favorite song of all time?
Just another nigga- state property II
Do you own any pets, and if so what do you have?
i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
Who do you admire most?
My mom CARLA, dat bitch da shit, i love her i think she da realest bitch alive
Do you have any tattoos, and if so what and where?
fuckin real
When do you plan on getting married?
it dont matta cuz i hope my wife know ima be playa 4 life
Get the number or give the number?
i would have 2 say bof
Romance or Kinky Sex?
it dont matta however i can get it
How do you feel?
i feel like killin somebody so dont be dat person… lol….not really dont be dat person
What size shoe do you wear?
a big enouf size 2 boot chu da fuck up outta here
T-Mobile, U.S. Cellular, Cingular/AT&T, or Sprint/Nextel
sprint/nextel bitch! dey got da best phones
Would you rather be hot or cold?
fuckin warm fuck dat hot shit and dat cold shit Id rather it be in da middle
Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?
what da fuck! i needs bof of my muthafuckin body parts
Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other?
opera- no, musical- no, concert- maybe. play- no, performance- fuuuuuuuuuuuck no, other- no
What is your favorite clothing brand?
state property, im on my philly shit im on my jawn… lol
Most Memorable Past?
shit i couldnt tell u cuz i dont know
If you had to pick one car, which would it be?
96 impala ss
Your favorite Disney Films?
fuck disney
Why did the chicken cross the road?
cuz he was all fiend out
Do you support Paris?
why should i
Where is Waldo?
i killed dat punk muthafucka he owed me money
Favorite element?
i would have 2 go with………….. water
What was your last thought?
why da fuck am i doin dis interview
Firefox, Internet Explorer, Netscape, or other?
i dont give a fuck i just want 2 get on
Who are you going to vote for in 2008?
me
Juice and crackers or milk and cookies?
i want sum milk and cookies
Favorite fruit?
watermelon
Which is worse? A bad laugh or a bad cough?
dam mafucka u just fucked up da mood, i guess i aint sayin no more jokes
Are you a cat or a dog person?
im fuckin wit a rock or a pit just so it can cha cat
Would you rather be blind or deaf?
deaf btu dam neither
Define yourself in 3 words…
im da shit
Do you eat cold cereal at night?
what da fuck is cold cereal
What is your favorite TV show?
the wire
Kill the spider or let it out?
man! fuck dat spider
Do you shower every single day?
shit i at least get a bird bath but yea i shower everyday dis summer its 2 hot not 2
Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?
shit ima be askin him 4 sum change
Boat or bus?
bus bitch! i cant swim
Where do you want to travel next?
da future
What would you do if Michael Jackson asked you out
I be like yea and den ima rob em’, ima steal all his shit and im stealin bubbles and im sellin dat muthafucka
What is your favorite food?
I like 2 licky licky licky licky… lol
Do you read harry potter books?
who da fuck is dat!
If you could have one super human power what would you choose?
come on now i wanna fly i hate walkin dat shit overrated
Have you had a beer in the last week?
shit I downed a forty last night in 2min. and 37sec. yea, beerfest bitch! im ready 4 da boot!
Vitamin Water or Gatorade?
Bof of dem shits is nasty but i fuck wit gatorade
Favorite body part?
my whole fuckin body
Flip flops or sandles?
come on now! what type of question is dat?
What do you do on fridays?
whatever da fuck i feel like doin
Do you like bananas?
do u
Lessons in how to improve the game- by the NHL “brain”trust
“The League sat down and brainstormed about what would be the biggest improvement for the game and the uniform was first and foremost.”
– Keith Leach, director of NHL Uniforms for Reebok
The league figured the best way to improve the game was with a new jersey? Sad, but probably true.
I’d like to say I’m surprised, but honestly I’m not. This is why hockey has been in perennial decline since the early 90’s.
Amusing quote
“I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because, if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, which is why I would not live forever”—Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
Amusing… probably not the Miss America pagents shining moment when they speak of how intelligent their competitiors are. (Note- I’m not posting this to imply the Miss America contestants are slow/stupid, merely amused by the quote above).
My R Rated Blog
Quite amusing, you can get a content rating for your blog. Here’s mine:
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
kill (3x)
dangerous (2x)
stab (1x)
Hmm… never would have thought of this blog as being “R” material, if your under 17 you require parental guidance to read my thoughts. 🙂
And here I was thinking this was a pretty tame family friendly blog.
(Click on the image if you want to get a rating for your own blog)
Paris Hilton
Everyone knows her, everyone hates her. The reasons are obvious no need to get into that.
Interestingly her stupidity in reality seems to live up to the hype:
Witness:
She states that she played hockey in high school (True, at least for the few months she was at the school before being kicked out for reasons anyone can guess ie. summoning limos to take her to clubs rather then going to classes). Says she was “very good”
Asked her position? “Oh, I played all over the ice”. Unusual, but okay. What position did she prefer to play? She asked what the positions were. Her former teammates mention she didn’t know how to skate.
Impressive, she’s very good at hockey…. yet can’t skate and doesn’t know any of the positions.
She states that she’s devoutely religious and has read the bible multiple times. Asked her favourite part: She couldn’t name one. Asked to mame a part she liked: She couldn’t name one.
She’s so devoutely religious… she can’t name anything she liked at all in the bible.
Asked if she votes: She anwered yes.
Asked when was the last election she voted in: Last year.
Asked what election that was: Presidential election.
Asked how often she vote in the presidential election: She votes every year, she’s voted for Bush 5 times.
Intriguing. I presume the presidential election last year was a secret one held only for her, because there certainly wasn’t a regular one. Nor is there a presidential election every single year, nor can anyone have voted for Bush as president 5 times…
Asked what she thought of Bush’s predecessor and his… dalliances with Lewinsky: She asked who it was.
Fascinating. She voted in the election (as she somehow does every year) but managed to be oblivious as to whom the president actually was at the time.
I’m amazed. The sheer stupidity here is overwhelming, the jokes about her actually pay her a compliment. She’s far less intelligent then even the harshest jokes might portray.
What Kind of Blogger Are You?
| You Are a Life Blogger! |
 Your blog is the story of your life – a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible. |
ESPN: Canada is not North America
It would appear ESPN has kindly decided to revise world Geography…. Canada is no longer part of North America. It’s somehow recently been displaced to another continent. Where exactly I’m unsure, though I’d very much be curious to know. Given that I was born in Canada I’d always been of the
perspective that I’d been born in North America.
http://myespn.go.com/conversation/story?id=2849092
(Random story on the best international players in the NBA specifically points out Steve Nash (Canadian) as an example of a
player representing another continent entirely. )
The MPAA: Promoting the Oscars by denying it’s existance
The Motion Picture Academy (MPAA) announced a slightly…. unusual decision to have YouTube yank all the uploaded videos from the Oscars. Some companies have logic behind such requests, the Motion Picture Academy’s reasoning is a tad lacking in logic.
Their explanation courtesy of Exxecutive Producer Ric Robertson: “It’s got nothing to do with money, it’s really not about (protecting that) business opportunity.” Even though the Oscars have their own website with clips, Robertson says he plans to even remove their own clips and any articles eferencing the winners. Apparently, this is being done to “whet people’s appetite for next year’s show.”
My only conclusion here is that the MPAA has concluded that the best method of increasing interest in next year’s Oscars is to remove any all evidence of this year’s Oscars.
Google Sends Aspirin To Blogger
Google Sends Aspirin To Blogger
So some blogger dude, frustrated with Google, wrote “Dear Google, you are giving me a headache” on his blog. Soon afterwards, he receives a packet of aspirin from Google and a handwritten note.
“Google continues to amaze me. Even though they are a huge company, they obviously found my article on Marketing Pilgrim, got some acetaminophen, wrote a letter, and mailed it to me.”
Damn, I knew I should have wrote that “Dear Google, I wish I was a millionaire” editorial.
Outlook 2007 Phishing filter
Maybe I’m easily amused, or just find the geekiest things funny but
Outlook 2007 has an incredible bizarre idea of what a phishing mail is. (You know what that is I presume?)
Don’t get me wrong, I love the program and normally its spam/phishing filter is extremely effective… but how Outlook decided the following was a scammer faking a legitimate website I haven’t a clue.
The email in question:
“BTW, Patches is fine. They said his bloodwork didn't show anything. 🙂 Molly, my puppy, is getting huge! I weighed her at 10 lbs last night and she is 12 weeks old. Sweetie is doing good too, ill as ever! “
We were talking about XYZ's dogs (I'm not inclined to mention whom the person I was emailing is as that's imaterial) but that’s beside the point… tell me, does anything in that email give you the impression it’s a phishing mail?
I find this oddly hilarious that Outlook somehow feels that is phishing.
Even more oddly, despite somehow deciding this is a phising email… it also decides the email is not spam.
So… talking about dogs=phishing, but phishing does not equate to spam.
On another note… one would think if they took the time to implement a phishing filter it would at least cross their mind to include the word in their spell checker.
Bizarre sandels
Exactly why would someone buy those?
I'm sorry, but that's just bizarre. I cannot even begin to comprehend what was going though the head of the designer of those.
Poor Choice of Name
La Barfumeria heads for NYC
Spanish niche perfumery La Barfumeria hopes to open a branch in New York City, US by the end of the year, its founder Giselle Richardson, who is herself American, has revealed. The store, opened in 2003 in the basement of fashion store La Rosa Que No Muere in Madrid, is intended to be a meeting place for amateurs of fragrance. The store has Spanish exclusivity for the Escentric Molecules brand and the Fracas de Robert Piguet fragrance. It also offers scents from some 20 other niche brands.
What were they thinking? Sounds like a normal enough store, but can you imagine calling a friend and saying "Meet me at La Barfumeria?" They'd probably think you were using some new code for the bathroom.
Alexander Ovechkin Collecting autographs
Interesting bit from an article….
After the Capitals’ loss Friday, Alex Ovechkin sought out Pavel Datsyuk, a fellow Russian and former teammate on Moscow Dynamo. After the two spoke for a few minutes, Ovechkin returned to the Capitals’ locker room with Datsyuk’s hockey stick, which the Detroit star autographed and wrote “Good Luck” on the blade.
Ovechkin said he planned to add it to his collection of hockey memorabilia, which includes 2,000 hockey cards and about a half-dozen sticks from Russian players he admires. He already has autographed sticks from the New York Islanders’ Alexei Yashin, the Atlanta Thrashers’ Ilya Kovalchuk, the New Jersey Devils’ Viktor Kozlov and the Buffalo Sabres’ Maxim Afinogenov, among others.
Asked why he only has sticks from Russians, Ovechkin smiled and said: “I don’t know. I like how we play."
Leafs developing chefs
The two-week prospects camp, which begins Sunday, is once more being organized by Leafs player development coach Paul Dennis. On-ice activities will include power skating and skills' enhancement, while the players also will be attending seminars on character development, media awareness (with mock interviews) and cooking, as well as attending a Blue Jays game.
Anyone see anything wrong with the above quote?
Their attending a seminar on cooking… uh, okay. Exactly why are the Leafs concerned about the culinary abilities of their prospects?
Personal thoughts... 